Post by Silas Romero on May 26, 2015 4:41:23 GMT -8
The scene opens on a shot of the personification of perfection, the embodiment of everything that is awesome.. THEE "Hipster Hercules", Silas Romero. Romero was leaned up against a gray stone wall, with his arms folded over his perfectly crafted, chiseled chest. He was sporting a black "Knockout Supreme" V-Neck shirt, along with a pair of straight legged and torn up RUDE brand denim jeans.. Not to mention that smug, confident, handsome as fuck smirk that seemed to always be plastered across that perfectly chiseled face of his. Don't worry, he knows how much of a smug prick he is -- He embraces it, ladies and gentlemen.
SilasROMERO: This is the part where everyone needs to realize that when I tell you that I'm going to walk out victoriously, I fucking mean it.
Silas tilted his head to the right; the smirk still blazon across his face. He continues on as he raised his head back up to it's upright position.
SilasROMERO: Gio DeFuckstick was the first of many to be sacrificed at the alter of the Hipster Hercules. Look how well that worked out for him -- He ended up on the business end of the hardest hitting elbow the world has ever seen. At the next Gold Rush, I had the opportunity to add not only more head to the wall in my trophy room, but two. Sadly, our good buddy Kai Sanchez decided to drop off the guard for an "undisclosed" reason. Hell, they don't even know if he's punk ass will even show up at Gold Rush. Injury? Probably not. Well, unless you count your pride being severely damaged as a injury I guess. Dude had not one, but two different people try and distract his opponent to pull off the win and still couldn't get it done. Not too mention, he lost to a guy who just rolled him up. You want to know why I think this dude backed out of the match? He knows that he's in way over his head in this business, let alone this company. You and your bitch talked all that shit before stepping into the ring with Healy but you let him catch you on mistake after mistake. But.. But.. You take whatever you want because you can. You shouldn't have let some little "melt".. Whatever the hell that means.. Beat you like it was nothing. The kicker, though. The kicker is that you had the audacity to actually name drop me before the match.
Romero gave a blank stare to the camera.
SilasROMERO: Like, seriously? Did you think that by saying my name it would like, give you special powers? I'm not sure what that really accomplished, other than making yourself look like a whiny little cunt. I mean, sure.. We all want to be in the main spotlight all the live long day, but you just came across like a bitch. You're right, though -- Drew and Frankie didn't do shit HERE to deserve being thrust into the title picture right off the bat, but from a promoters stand point, the logic was sound. Put two names against each other and let them fight for the belt. I get it, it puts the sheep in the seats, so to speak. It screams money match. Plus, they have built in history. It's easy booking and promotion, but logistically, it makes sense. I can't sweat them for that. And again, I can't even stress you for talking shit.. I mean, it's like my favorite past time, ever. But, there is trash talking.. And being a bitch. You, Kai? You're a bitch, plain and simple. You parade yourself around with your ring rats like a bootleg Godfather, yet nobody outside of a small circle knows who the fuck you are. Am I saying I'm the biggest name in the game? Well, no. I mean, I am.. But I'm not the one saying it.
Silas' smirk returns to his face, as he continues on and on..
SilasROMERO: Also, it was THREE pin falls in LEGACY, my friend. If you're going to trash me for bringing up my let's say, stellar, career in LEGACY, let's at least get it right, okay? Okay. In my black heart of black hearts, I would love to think that my words will spark your interest and cause you stop being so butt-hurt about losing to a nobody and step back up to the plate.. But, I know you won't. You've probably taken your ball and your bitches home to sulk in the corner like a little emo kid on the verge of cutting their arm several hundred times. Hey, there ain't no shame in that game, Kai. I don't expect much from an over-self-hyped stripper who thinks he can step up to the plate in MY game. See, because if you did.. You would be just another one of the heap of chumps that thought they would take me down -- Knocked out. You all will get knocked the fuck out. Do none of you realize this yet? I'm not just spouting out a clever little catchphrase, my friends. These are just the truths in life that you're just going to have to fucking deal with. Like, it seriously pains to realize that none of you will ever take that statement seriously. You all like to think that just because I run my mouth and say weird, nerdy shit on Twitter.. That you're going to come into that ring and run over me like a runaway train. As a wise man once said, you think because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit? Truer words have never been spoken. Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I do enjoy quite a many things that make people consider me a hipster.. And I embrace. Yes, I run my mouth probably more than I should. The thing is, I don't give a fuck. Hell, every time I drop the "F"-Bomb, I'm probably be fined a shit ton of money but again, I don't care. I really, really don't. I don't know what else I can do to stress that enough. Because, honestly it seems as though people are really never going to get the hint, I'm afraid. I've been at this for quite some time and people still come at me with the same old tired routine and it is what it is. I guess eventually I'll come to terms with it and just simply be okay with it. Until that day? I'm going to continue to call you motherfuckers out on all your stupid shit. 'Cause frankly, it's kind of fun for me. I enjoy making every single one of you eat your words over and over.
I've been doing it for this long.. Why would I stop now? I enjoy the look on my opponents face right after I drop them with the Gee-Kay-Eff-Ohh. It's like you can almost see the moment when they realized that they fucked up. You can see when they've finally dropped the facade that they've crafted over the how many days before the match. They talk and talk and talk.. AND TALK about how they're going to decimate THEE "Knockout Supreme" but it never truly happens. The past few promotions that I have traveled with.. I have yet to lose ONE match. I am having the time of my life knocking people over and over. Yet, they still parade these weak, hapless souls in front of me, spewing out that same old tired routine. This week, it was supposed to be the poor, naive, drug riddled Dash "am I late for the free crack give away" Miles and the supreme try-hard of all try-hard's, Kai "Dirty" Sanchez. Obviously, that's not happening. Now, I'm left with our good buddy Tyrone Biggums. Is Rhonda still giving you shit for stealing her car that she found you sleeping in? What about that couple that let you live with them before you sold their house when you got your realtors license?
Silas begins to chuckle for a bit. Obviously, he enjoys his own joke. We all know he doesn't honestly think that Miles is the character from the famous Chappelle's Show skit.. Or does he?
SilasROMERO: Anyway. I've decided I'm going to teach you a couple things, Dash. First off, stop apologizing. In this business, that's not going to get you very far. Every time you would start to tell your opponent how it is.. You backpedaled, each and every time. The moment you started going ham on that Silky Johnston dude.. Or whatever the fuck his name was, you said you weren't trying to cut him down? CUT HIM THE FUCK DOWN! I don't care if you want to play the good guy or the bad guy.. You're in this business to sell yourself. You really think that the sheep that flock to the arenas around the world want to his see the nice guy next door beat the shit out of someone? Well, probably.. Actually. My neighbor would be hilarious in a fight. Regardless, you have to be a showman in this sport. Basically, what I'm trying to say is.. You're boring as fuck. The fact that I have to pay attention to you this week is already killing braincells and you haven't even spoken yet. Do you understand that? The sheer boredom that you bring to my computer screen is already bumming me out. Like, I seriously just want to get this match over with, 'cause at least by then, I will have knocked you out and I frankly can go back to pretending you don't exist just like everyone else. Dash, you just don't get it and you never will. This whole schtick you got going on, constantly reminding everyone that you're a rookie is already driving me absolutely insane. All anyone has to do is look at any of your matches and they can see that, Dash. They can see that you're greener than Goose shit. You don't have to keep reminding them over and over of what you are.. They have eyes, my friend.. They have eyes.
The Hipster Hercules shrugged his shoulders. It was at that moment that a wild Logan Thorn appeared. Silas looked quite stunned by his sudden appearance.
LoganTHORN: Yeah, dude. He's greener than Goose shit.
SilasROMERO: Dude, wrong promotion.
Logan looked at Silas somewhat confused.
LoganTHORN: Man, I don't even know what day it is.
SilasROMERO: So, uh.. How drunk are you right now?
LoganTHORN: Very.
And with that, Logan wandered off into the sunset. Silas looked back towards the camera and shook his head for a moment.
SilasROMERO: Sorry about that.. I uh, don't even know what to say right now. Where was I? Oh, yes.. Dash being green as shit and pretty much sucking at life. That about sum it up? When I become thee "guy" in this company and lead it into the future, Dash.. I'm going to look back kindly at you and thank you. Because, without you.. I wouldn't have gotten there. You were my second victory in the Golden State and well, that means a lot. Well, I probably still would be that guy with or without you.. But, you helped in your own small way. Now, I know you don't want to be yet another stepping stone, nor do you want to continue your losing ways. There's just nothing you can do about it, though. You're definitely more than welcome to try and stop me from submitting you in the middle of that ring.. Or even knocking your head clean off your shoulders.. But, it will be for not. There is one thing, though, that sticks out to me. Dash, you say that you cannot be hurt. That..That just isn't true. You CAN and WILL be hurt, Dash. I will see to that. At Gold Rush, I'll prove that to you.. Along with proving that you are nothing more than an walking, talking punchline. This is the diary of your end, Dash.. Remember that. The Hipster Demigod has spoken.
SilasROMERO: This is the part where everyone needs to realize that when I tell you that I'm going to walk out victoriously, I fucking mean it.
Silas tilted his head to the right; the smirk still blazon across his face. He continues on as he raised his head back up to it's upright position.
SilasROMERO: Gio DeFuckstick was the first of many to be sacrificed at the alter of the Hipster Hercules. Look how well that worked out for him -- He ended up on the business end of the hardest hitting elbow the world has ever seen. At the next Gold Rush, I had the opportunity to add not only more head to the wall in my trophy room, but two. Sadly, our good buddy Kai Sanchez decided to drop off the guard for an "undisclosed" reason. Hell, they don't even know if he's punk ass will even show up at Gold Rush. Injury? Probably not. Well, unless you count your pride being severely damaged as a injury I guess. Dude had not one, but two different people try and distract his opponent to pull off the win and still couldn't get it done. Not too mention, he lost to a guy who just rolled him up. You want to know why I think this dude backed out of the match? He knows that he's in way over his head in this business, let alone this company. You and your bitch talked all that shit before stepping into the ring with Healy but you let him catch you on mistake after mistake. But.. But.. You take whatever you want because you can. You shouldn't have let some little "melt".. Whatever the hell that means.. Beat you like it was nothing. The kicker, though. The kicker is that you had the audacity to actually name drop me before the match.
Romero gave a blank stare to the camera.
SilasROMERO: Like, seriously? Did you think that by saying my name it would like, give you special powers? I'm not sure what that really accomplished, other than making yourself look like a whiny little cunt. I mean, sure.. We all want to be in the main spotlight all the live long day, but you just came across like a bitch. You're right, though -- Drew and Frankie didn't do shit HERE to deserve being thrust into the title picture right off the bat, but from a promoters stand point, the logic was sound. Put two names against each other and let them fight for the belt. I get it, it puts the sheep in the seats, so to speak. It screams money match. Plus, they have built in history. It's easy booking and promotion, but logistically, it makes sense. I can't sweat them for that. And again, I can't even stress you for talking shit.. I mean, it's like my favorite past time, ever. But, there is trash talking.. And being a bitch. You, Kai? You're a bitch, plain and simple. You parade yourself around with your ring rats like a bootleg Godfather, yet nobody outside of a small circle knows who the fuck you are. Am I saying I'm the biggest name in the game? Well, no. I mean, I am.. But I'm not the one saying it.
Silas' smirk returns to his face, as he continues on and on..
SilasROMERO: Also, it was THREE pin falls in LEGACY, my friend. If you're going to trash me for bringing up my let's say, stellar, career in LEGACY, let's at least get it right, okay? Okay. In my black heart of black hearts, I would love to think that my words will spark your interest and cause you stop being so butt-hurt about losing to a nobody and step back up to the plate.. But, I know you won't. You've probably taken your ball and your bitches home to sulk in the corner like a little emo kid on the verge of cutting their arm several hundred times. Hey, there ain't no shame in that game, Kai. I don't expect much from an over-self-hyped stripper who thinks he can step up to the plate in MY game. See, because if you did.. You would be just another one of the heap of chumps that thought they would take me down -- Knocked out. You all will get knocked the fuck out. Do none of you realize this yet? I'm not just spouting out a clever little catchphrase, my friends. These are just the truths in life that you're just going to have to fucking deal with. Like, it seriously pains to realize that none of you will ever take that statement seriously. You all like to think that just because I run my mouth and say weird, nerdy shit on Twitter.. That you're going to come into that ring and run over me like a runaway train. As a wise man once said, you think because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit? Truer words have never been spoken. Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I do enjoy quite a many things that make people consider me a hipster.. And I embrace. Yes, I run my mouth probably more than I should. The thing is, I don't give a fuck. Hell, every time I drop the "F"-Bomb, I'm probably be fined a shit ton of money but again, I don't care. I really, really don't. I don't know what else I can do to stress that enough. Because, honestly it seems as though people are really never going to get the hint, I'm afraid. I've been at this for quite some time and people still come at me with the same old tired routine and it is what it is. I guess eventually I'll come to terms with it and just simply be okay with it. Until that day? I'm going to continue to call you motherfuckers out on all your stupid shit. 'Cause frankly, it's kind of fun for me. I enjoy making every single one of you eat your words over and over.
I've been doing it for this long.. Why would I stop now? I enjoy the look on my opponents face right after I drop them with the Gee-Kay-Eff-Ohh. It's like you can almost see the moment when they realized that they fucked up. You can see when they've finally dropped the facade that they've crafted over the how many days before the match. They talk and talk and talk.. AND TALK about how they're going to decimate THEE "Knockout Supreme" but it never truly happens. The past few promotions that I have traveled with.. I have yet to lose ONE match. I am having the time of my life knocking people over and over. Yet, they still parade these weak, hapless souls in front of me, spewing out that same old tired routine. This week, it was supposed to be the poor, naive, drug riddled Dash "am I late for the free crack give away" Miles and the supreme try-hard of all try-hard's, Kai "Dirty" Sanchez. Obviously, that's not happening. Now, I'm left with our good buddy Tyrone Biggums. Is Rhonda still giving you shit for stealing her car that she found you sleeping in? What about that couple that let you live with them before you sold their house when you got your realtors license?
Silas begins to chuckle for a bit. Obviously, he enjoys his own joke. We all know he doesn't honestly think that Miles is the character from the famous Chappelle's Show skit.. Or does he?
SilasROMERO: Anyway. I've decided I'm going to teach you a couple things, Dash. First off, stop apologizing. In this business, that's not going to get you very far. Every time you would start to tell your opponent how it is.. You backpedaled, each and every time. The moment you started going ham on that Silky Johnston dude.. Or whatever the fuck his name was, you said you weren't trying to cut him down? CUT HIM THE FUCK DOWN! I don't care if you want to play the good guy or the bad guy.. You're in this business to sell yourself. You really think that the sheep that flock to the arenas around the world want to his see the nice guy next door beat the shit out of someone? Well, probably.. Actually. My neighbor would be hilarious in a fight. Regardless, you have to be a showman in this sport. Basically, what I'm trying to say is.. You're boring as fuck. The fact that I have to pay attention to you this week is already killing braincells and you haven't even spoken yet. Do you understand that? The sheer boredom that you bring to my computer screen is already bumming me out. Like, I seriously just want to get this match over with, 'cause at least by then, I will have knocked you out and I frankly can go back to pretending you don't exist just like everyone else. Dash, you just don't get it and you never will. This whole schtick you got going on, constantly reminding everyone that you're a rookie is already driving me absolutely insane. All anyone has to do is look at any of your matches and they can see that, Dash. They can see that you're greener than Goose shit. You don't have to keep reminding them over and over of what you are.. They have eyes, my friend.. They have eyes.
The Hipster Hercules shrugged his shoulders. It was at that moment that a wild Logan Thorn appeared. Silas looked quite stunned by his sudden appearance.
LoganTHORN: Yeah, dude. He's greener than Goose shit.
SilasROMERO: Dude, wrong promotion.
Logan looked at Silas somewhat confused.
LoganTHORN: Man, I don't even know what day it is.
SilasROMERO: So, uh.. How drunk are you right now?
LoganTHORN: Very.
And with that, Logan wandered off into the sunset. Silas looked back towards the camera and shook his head for a moment.
SilasROMERO: Sorry about that.. I uh, don't even know what to say right now. Where was I? Oh, yes.. Dash being green as shit and pretty much sucking at life. That about sum it up? When I become thee "guy" in this company and lead it into the future, Dash.. I'm going to look back kindly at you and thank you. Because, without you.. I wouldn't have gotten there. You were my second victory in the Golden State and well, that means a lot. Well, I probably still would be that guy with or without you.. But, you helped in your own small way. Now, I know you don't want to be yet another stepping stone, nor do you want to continue your losing ways. There's just nothing you can do about it, though. You're definitely more than welcome to try and stop me from submitting you in the middle of that ring.. Or even knocking your head clean off your shoulders.. But, it will be for not. There is one thing, though, that sticks out to me. Dash, you say that you cannot be hurt. That..That just isn't true. You CAN and WILL be hurt, Dash. I will see to that. At Gold Rush, I'll prove that to you.. Along with proving that you are nothing more than an walking, talking punchline. This is the diary of your end, Dash.. Remember that. The Hipster Demigod has spoken.
END.
